Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
