you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
