Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
