i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
