I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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