There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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