You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
