whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
