Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
