Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
