watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
