I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
there is glitter all over my balls
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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