I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
