he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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