Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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