i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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