normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
