it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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