actually, I'm a sock model
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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