If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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