Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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