didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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