told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
