...so i touched it.
i will never coherently bang her
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
