don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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