she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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