she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
