What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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