I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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