I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
