i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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