He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
