Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
