she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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