It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
