Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
