Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
