She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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