btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
