Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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