I think I died a long time ago.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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