she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
