I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
