Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
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