Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
