I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
