My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
