actually, I'm a sock model
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
