oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
