Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I wish you could order shots online.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
