dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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