I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
