After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
